Swimsuit Season

The struggle was real.  Now I'm just happy to fit into my clothes that are B.C.
Before Children.

3:45 PM Liquid Layoff

People Eaters

For once, based on reality.  HT to my husband who was there for it!

Tongue Tied

Ever been on hold so long that you get tongue tied when they finally pick up?

Ever do the dishes while on hold?

Make a cake?

Take out the trash?

Start dinner?

Eat dinner?

Eat the cake?

Go to sleep?

Coffee Horror Story

This has happened to me far too many times for me to deny.

Whisper of Love

Can I please get a raise of hands as to how many people will message one another and be in the same room?

Because seriously...all.the.time.

Mr. Coffee

Four in the morning is an awful time of day.  I used to stay up that late back in my wild and stupid days (mostly watching the six hour "Pride and Prejudice" and eating Cheetos with my sister).  Now I dread the very sight of the clock when I'm forced out of my bed by the screeching crowbar voices of my children.
After coffee, they sound more like angels, but till then, I don't want to hear a peep or make toast for anybody.

Wallet Woes of the Frugal Foodie Fashionista

Irmgard probably suffers from Pinners Syndrome, where your board is too big and your bank account too small.

Showering

Note: the caption says FEELS like.  If you choose to actually wear clothes while showering, that's your own business.  Her dress is merely for illustrative (and of course family-friendly) purposes.
Although with the speed at which I need to hop out of the shower, remaining fully dressed is sometimes an option.

Temperamental

Mental Anguish

It takes a high school three hours to perform a Shakespearean tragedy.

It takes my three year old twelve seconds.

That's not the only difference.  Both high schoolers and parents were prepared (about 3-5 months of rehearsals) for the performance.

My three year old gives no warning.  He's the ultimate flash mob.  And he's smart.  He knows just where to kick you in the shins, where to hide (I honestly think that he prefers Spiderman for the ceiling dangling capabilities), and then can pull on the big goo-goo-eyes of repentance when he's done.

He moves so fast that you wouldn't be able to catch him on mall security cameras.

The almost two year old toddler is the same.  The other night she decided that it would be a good idea to throw a tantrum in the bathtub.  Only her tantrums consist in falling to the floor on her stomach and kicking.  Add water to that and you'd have a case for the court, except that vigilante mom was there to catch her.  

No one, I repeat, no one is prepared for toddler tantrums..

Anyone can be prepared for a badly acted Shakespeare.

The Society Pages

As we draw close to the end of another year, I would like to reflect on what has changed in our society.
And what has not changed at all.

On the left are pieces from various newspapers.  I put the equivalent on the right.  Also, I do not apologize for my use of pun names whatsoever.  So click on the picture and enjoy perusing the Society Pages!

Fleece Weather Problems

I shed on my husband's fleece coat merely to mark my territory.  It has nothing to do with stress or many children or the fact that I steal his fleece and wear it more than my own.  Honestly...

Daylight Lying Times

Daylight Savings Time

My world of sleep is crashing around my ears. How about you?

(The savings is a lie.)

The Great [Diaper] Escape

Out smarted by the escape artist.

Magic Portal of Forgetfulness

I can't blame motherhood.  I did this as a kid too.

Selfie

Thanks, married friends, but no thanks.

Fourth Child Syndrome

Swordfights

In the heat of battle, it's easy as a parent to scream the wrong name.  Screaming colors makes things infinitely easier.

Patience