Mr. Coffee

Four in the morning is an awful time of day.  I used to stay up that late back in my wild and stupid days (mostly watching the six hour "Pride and Prejudice" and eating Cheetos with my sister).  Now I dread the very sight of the clock when I'm forced out of my bed by the screeching crowbar voices of my children.
After coffee, they sound more like angels, but till then, I don't want to hear a peep or make toast for anybody.